Thursday, September 20, 2012

Getting Real | A Personal Post

If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.  ~Vincent Van Gogh

As I write more personal posts, you're probably going to figure out that I ride a bit of a roller coaster, emotionally speaking.  I like to blame it on the fact that I'm a creative soul...and you know, us creative types can be flaky and overly emotional.  But in reality, it's probably just hormones.  Or maybe a little of both?  :)

All that said, I've been in a bit of a funk lately regarding my photography.  And after reading a lot of blogs and talking to a lot of photographer friends, I think it's pretty common.  I love following a lot of photography blogs because... 1.  it inspires my own creativity and 2. I love looking at beautiful pictures.   But it also can be dangerous.  I tend to compare myself to others and get frustrated with myself, wondering if this is really something I should be doing.  Am I even good enough?

I'm not looking for reassurance, just sharing candidly how I've felt recently.  And the main reason I share is because I feel like when we're honest, there is normally someone out there dealing with something similar who can relate.  Often times we just need to know we're not the only one, and that's enough relief to move past the insecurity.  So if you've doubted your calling recently, let me just tell you, you're not alone!

This is what I'm supposed to be doing.  Am I as good as I want to be?  No.  Am I better than I was?  Yes.  Am I committed to always providing clients with the BEST product I can give them?  Yes!  So much of why I've been in this funk is due to the crazy, busy life I've had.  For quite awhile I was juggling two jobs and honestly, it sucked the creativity right out of me!  I'm guessing many of you have been, or are in, a similar situation--pulled in a million directions and doing so much and feeling like you're only able to do most of it halfway.  Now that I'm officially a full time photographer, I feel like great things are ahead.  I have the ability to learn more, grow more and be more uniquely me in all my work.  I'm so thankful that God has given me this opportunity and I'm excited to see where the journey will take me!

So moving forward, I decided it was time to make a schedule and set some goals!  Yesterday I made a list of goals.  Then today, I made a list of things I can do to achieve those goals.  Then I made a to do list.  I really love lists. :)  And because I have the weekend off (most likely my last until December), I am going to take lots of pictures of my kids.  That's what inspired this passion in the first place and I don't do it often enough!

Since I can't write a blog and not include any are a few from Ashton's 8th birthday celebration last week!

Happy Thursday, friends!  The weekend is just around the corner. :)

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